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8/17/16 Jokes About The News

  • August 17, 2016
  • by Liam
  • · Blog · Jokes About The News · Uncategorized

A 94 year-old man was among the first in California to commit legal suicide under the care of a doctor under the new End of Life Option Act. The man made his decision after suffering through heart disease, dementia, and a full episode of The View.

The Greenwich, Connecticut, Town Hall changed its hold music to Mozart’s symphonies, as performed by the high school’s string ensembles. Which is all part of the Greenwich city government’s clever plan to never have to speak to anybody on the phone ever again.

The 20th anniversary of JonBenét Ramsey’s tragic murder will be celebrated this year with tasteful, wonderful specials produced by Dr. Phil, Investigation Discovery, and CBS. Continuing a year of fascination with horrible tragedies from the ‘90s, as evidenced by  the Emmy-nominated Trial of OJ Simpson miniseries, and Pauly Shore’s upcoming tour with Vanilla Ice.

Investigators announced that a fire that destroyed 43 homes in northern San Francisco was found to have been started at a secret marijuana farm growing over 100 plants. Officials say the blaze caused millions of dollars in property damage, and thousands of dollars in Taco Bell sales.

Marin County, CA, retailers are stocking up on Burning Man clothing to sell to participants. The trick, the retailers say, is to make it cool enough that Burning Man participants want to wear it, but cheap enough that it doesn’t stand out on their parents’ credit card bills.

 

 

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